When we die
by Eliluvva3
Summary: i wanted to make this work, so i grabbed my moms razor from the shower.i pulled the cover off and put it against my wrist.i closed my eyes tight and whispered."i loved you clare."i quickly slit my wrist.ratedM for suicide and language.DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first fanfic! I'm really excited! I take grammar corrections and criticism, but don't hate. Song credits go to bowling for soup. Amazing band! I'm gonna stop my rant. Read on!**

When we die.

(Clares POV)

The bitter wind hit my face as I ran down the sidewalk. I was clutching my stomach to keep my hands warm but also to stop that horrible feeling in my stomach. Eli had seen K.C and I kissing. I was forced to though.

***flashback* **

"_I'm glad we're" I paused in order to find the right words."Friends"_

_K.C. turned to look at me. "friends? Really Clare? Did you think I asked Ms. Oh to put us as partners to be friends?" he looked angry._

"_K.C., you can't honestly think that I would be your girlfriend after you dumped me for Jenna? And worse, she's pregnant! If you used her, then you'll probably use me." I yelled trailing off at the end. Getting up from my bed._

"_But Clare! I love you! I don't want some skank who's pregnant. I want you."_

"_Jenna's not a skank because you got her-"but I was cut off by K.C.'s harsh kiss. _

_I couldn't move. I tried to pull him off me by gripping his T-shirt on his back and pulling. He wouldn't budge. Finally, after clawing at his back, he pulled away. That's when I saw Eli climbing down the tree by my window looking heartbroken._

_Oh my god._

***end flashback***

I ran up to Eli's door and knocked hurriedly. I heard nothing. I started nervously pacing trying to figure out what to do. I knew he was home, he just wasn't answering me.

I started to climb up a tree into his bathroom. When I reached the window, I was frozen in pure horror.

(Eli's POV)

This was happening again. I never thought Clare would ever cheat on me. I thought she cared about me.

It was Julia all over again. She cheated on me and I called her a whore. A half hour after she left I got a call that she was dead. I thought that moving here would give me a fresh start. Clearly, I was wrong. Clare Edwards, the saint of the school, my girlfriend, cheated on me. She played me just to get to her ex.

If nobody cared enough to be with me, then I guess I have no purpose on earth. I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a full pill bottle. I set it on the sink next to three beer bottles I had already downed and thrown in the sink. That's when I heard a knock at the front door. Clare. I knew she would come and try to explain herself. I was sick of the lies. I ignored her. I quickly opened the bottle and took three at a time. Three for clare. Three for Adam and three for my family.

I suddenly got another idea. I want to make this work, so I grabbed my mom's razor from the shower. I pulled the cover off and put it against my wrist. I closed my eyes tight and whispered."I loved you Clare." I quickly slit my wrist and watched as crimson red poured onto the counter.

(Clare's POV)

Eli's trying to kill himself! It's my entire fault. I should have listened to him about K.C. being at my house. The sky had darkened and started to rain heavily. My makeup was running from crying but I didn't care. I pounded on the window, getting droopy Eli's attention. I could see his face go from sadness, to depressed, to anger, and finally to fury. He took one look at me and yelled "IM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH AM I?"

I was confused at first but then remembered what Julia had done to him. O no, I broke him."IM THE ONE WHO DOESN'T DESERVE YOU ELI. I LOVE YOU!" I yelled over the thunder. "YOU RIPPED MY HEART OUT!" he growled. No he ripped out mine, but I had to fix it. The tree started to shake violently, so I climbed through the window.

I landed in the puddle of blood forming under his hand. "I'm calling 911"I said softly dialing the number. They picked up but Eli wacked the phone out of my hand. It skidded across the tiled floor and landed by the toilet."Eli! You could die!"I shouted at him. "If you haven't noticed I want to." he said sliding down the wall and on to the floor. I grabbed a towel and pushed it against his wrist. He hissed in pain.

(Eli's POV)

Damn. Why this always fucking does hurt so much.

Clare had pressed the towel to my wrist hissed in pain. She looked up at me in sympathy. "Why don't you just leave me to die, and go make out with K.C." I spat at her. I was starting to get light headed. "I didn't want to kiss him, he forced me to." She said sadly. She seemed to be telling the truth, but I wasn't thoroughly convinced." the why were you hugging him?"I questioned."I was trying to get him off me".

Then it dawned on me. It was a huge misunderstanding. "Clare?"I choked out."I'm so sorry"." It wasn't your fault Eli, I should have found you sooner." She smiled. She hadn't looked in the sink." Clare, I overdosed." I looked down at the floor and started crying. I didn't want to die anymore. I don't want to leave Adam and my family. Especially Clare. She was my heart, my soul, my everything. She looked at me in horror." how much?" she cried, tears free falling from her face."I-I don't remember. Six or seven I think. "I looked back up at her." I love you so much Clare" her face softened as she hugged me tightly. "I love you to Eli. More than anything. More than Darcy, or my mom, my dad, or even my pet hamster when I was six, Eli I love you so much it hurts my head just thinking about it. If you asked me to do anything, I would do it. Even if it breaks a commandment. I would do anything for you Eli. I would kill for you, I would die for you." I stared; crying at Clare's loving words. I kissed Clare with so much passion and love that I forgot that I was dying. I broke away from what might be our last kiss. I touched my forehead to hers, and whispered

"I love you so much more Clare, it scares me. I always have to stop myself from wanting to kiss you all the time. When we first met, I knew you were the one. I knew you would clean up my life after Julia, I knew you would be different than Julia. I tried nonstop to make you my girlfriend, and when I finally succeeded I knew that I had the most caring, loving, affectionate, girl in the entire world. I was proud to say that you were my girl. Mine. Nothing is going to stand in the way of us, not even death. I want one wish from you Clare, one thing."

"What is it Eli, what do you want? I'll do anything for you."Clare sobbed into my shoulder. I lifted her chin and looked deep into her eyes.

"I want you never to give up on me Clare. I want you to never leave me. I want you to be happy, and I think that I can do that." I said with a faint smile.

"Yes Eli, anything for you."

We started to hear sirens coming down the street." Hold on Eli, their almost here" she whispered into my ear, squeezing my hand. My vision was becoming blurry. I panicked.

"Clare!" I yelled frantically. I could see a bright light. I looked up to see none other than Julia, motioning for me to come. I shook my head no.

"No I won't die! I won't come Julia." But she just looked at me and smiled. She nodded and disappeared.

The light died down. I was back in my bathroom."Clare!" I yelled.

"Eli, why were you talking to yourself? What's happening?"

I smiled and said" I saw her, Clare, I saw her."I looked up at Clare. My eyes started to close as blackness overcame my vision. "Don't leave me Eli, stay awake." Clare ordered to me. But it was too hard.

"I love you so much Clare. Never forget that."I whispered.

The last thing I heard was Clare's hysterical crying and the ambulance on the street, while I drifted into darkness.

Well, I know that it's early  
And it's too hard to think  
And the broken empty bottles  
Are reminder in the sink  
But I thought that I should tell you  
If it's not too late to say  
I could put back all the pieces,  
They just might not fit the same

Nothing's worth losing  
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we're gonna be fine  
And the tattooed mistakes  
Are gonna fade over time  
As long as we live, time passes by  
And we won't get it back when we die

Well, I know it's been years now,  
And I don't look the same  
And the hopes and dreams you had for me  
You thought went down the drain.  
And the room feels so empty  
where my pictures used to be  
And I can't say that I blame you,  
But you can't blame me

Cuz nothing's worth losing  
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we're gonna be fine  
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time  
As long as we live, time passes by  
And we won't get it back when we die

Come over  
Come over.

Cuz I gotta know,

If I am doing this all on my own

Come over

Come over

How can I show you if you're not here

And I know that we're gonna be fine  
and the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time  
As long as we live, time passes by  
and we won't get it back when we die

And I know that we're gonna be fine  
and the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time  
As long as we live, time passes by  
and we won't get it back when we die

Come over.  
Come over.

Come over.  
Come over.  
Come over.  
Come over.  
(I gotta know)  
And we won't get it back when we die.  
(well, I know that it's early...)

**Ugh! Soooo bad! Review? Should I do a sequel? Well I'm gonna crawl under a rock now. Bye:P**

**-eliluvva333**


	2. authors note

**AUTHORS NOTE! **

Ok, so I'm extremely sorry! My computer broke and I waited like a month to get it fixed, but when it did, it got a virus! Ugh. I felt so horrible. I hope you're not too angry….

So I got three reviews! I know it's not as much, but was expecting none. So I'm replying:

Mandushki- thank you that means so much to me.

ESLgirl- thanks and yes, I agree. I realized that it would be hard for me to write because I'm a beginner. Thanks for the constructive criticism. I'm not that much of a Klare fan, but maybe I'll try that in the future.

.Eli- this made me laugh

So I'm going to put this story on hold for a while, because I think I should start smaller. If that makes any sense… but thanks to those who reviewed. I will be posting some one-shots soon. ECLARE


End file.
